What a world

What a world, what a world. I won. And yet the heterosexual narcissists think they have improved the country. Just like Christians who professed their love for God and lopped off the heads of savages in the name of their God. What’s then different about modern bullies I mean Christians? Absolutely NOTHING..
I have acquainted myself with social abuse which is where a person calls upon a group or groups to terrorize a single person. Sometimes some effects of this behavior are: resentment,depression, abuse of certain types of illegal substances,lack of self esteem,unusual overt friendliness,or isolation just to name a few.
Some behaviors curtail the effects of abuse, I have read about these behaviors and they save me from depression,stress,fear,isolation and low self esteem to name a few.

Oh yes, the target of the social abusive group may become aggressive. Yep,when I read that I felt good, it was something I could re adjust and I did the very next day. Aho

The intelligent and cosmic conscience guides and loves.
I am moving towards death to gain life everlasting

Language is the power key. Words can hurt, we know this and words can give impetus,strength,confidence,courage,lift up, secure,make ready and make stead fast. And one expert no, two know this so very well:Lisa Nichols , Tony Robbins and now new expert ME. That makes three.
It is the translation within the Transformation.
I have won accolades and trophies for shattering world track records set by other American teens. I set Records that remained relative for over a decade.
I secured these triumphs through talking to myself. I can do this, I am ready, I will. I have trained more,longer,harder ,smarter than all of the other girls in my field, I deserve to win. and here is one story:
It don’t matter Charlotte what any body else says,you (and he emphasized the YOU) have to make up your own mind. I could here the irritation in his voice and feel it grind into my skull where I kept my fear of success. I had suggested it was the fault of my coach for not having trained me enough to win my last race. I was eleven. And that was my dad giving me advice.

My six foot one and one half inch father who looked more seven foot to me, said this as he tapped real hard,a silver spoon, on the outside of a ceramic coffee cup. He looked up and acknowleged only briefly the annoyance in my mother’s eyes at his tapping. He continued. We were both in our tiny kitchen of my parent’s first home. A military bought duplex. There were two windows each framing one side of the kitchen table; almost flush with the back door was the third side of the table. Dad stood leaning against the gas stove,one of his favorite places in our house with a determined air about him. His left hand on his hip, the right tapping the cup like the judge. He sipped, I waited impatiently. Mom manned the spatula and was turning bread in a skillet. The kitchen was not a popular hangout for her. I could feel the electricity between them.
I am only going to say this one more time. Listen only,only to yourself. It does not matter what other people say or do. If you want to win that race you will tell yourself,no matter what, I am winning this race. You are there , and there is no blaming any one but yourself for losing.
I could feel tears climbing out of my eyes ,hanging onto my lower lids for permission to flood. My throat was choking because he wouldn’t sympathize with me. But if I uttered one more word it would be the worse for me. He saw the tears yet he drew the coffee cup to his lips and looked me dead in the eyes as if to challenge my knowledge of him and his worldly knowledge. I clenched my fist and retreated.
So I went to the next race with one thing in mind. I am the winner. I am the winner.
I and ten other girls,clad in shorts and shirts and wearing sneakers huddled at the starting line. It was a warm Sunday morning. My mom was in the stands along with other grammar school girl friends who came to cheer me on.
I stood looking down the light brown, 100 feet of soft dirt running track used several times over this morning for other track events. A small intimate crowd gathered along side the track in the shade of a canopy. I looked at them once. I turned to the track. I heard the feet of the others shuffle in the dirt. I heard the crowd take a breath. I heard the silence. Wait. Wait. Bang! We’re off!
I stared,saw only the tape at the end of the long haul.
My eleven year old elbows power forward and backward like Pistons. My feet are tapping the shifting soft beneath them as if they are on fire. I am drawing nearer the tape. I can see no one but me going ahead. I am smiling. My heart is silent in my chest as my torso is held safe and apart from the rest of my body from the sheer rapidity of my knees pumping in front carrying me along effortlessly.
Suddenly, you knew I would say that,right. Suddenly,I felt elbows on either side of me. I was half way there. I felt the scrawny elbows of the girl on either side of me punching away at the crease of my arms. Pushing me behind them. Behind the. I was wedged behind them,in third place,behind them. My sun came crashing down. I lost sight of the finish line,I felt only those barriers,the Pistons beating me back. My smile turned into a grimace. Lose! Again?
I’m Christian,I’m not suppose to hurt others,right?
We are three quarters of the way there. I see the girl holding a yellow tape. They are beating me, dad. A few more steps. Suddenly,you knew I was going to say that,right?
I am in mid air-floating. I see it all, clearly. The two girls have me wedged in between them. I will be third if I do not take aggressive action, NOW.
The tape is but one tenth of the distance away. Now or never,now or never. I yelled … in my mind:”I’m sorry!”I woke up and My feet hit the ground running, I pushed my elbows into those Girls thrashing me as hard as I could because I heard it. ” Charlette,no matter what,I am winning this race.” I pushed and I saw from peripheral vision the one on my right lost her balance. The other ,I fled past and leaned First into that tape. Whoooo!
It is the same in adult life. When the others whether they are right or wrong ,wedge me up and I feel stuck,take action,make a change,be courageous,no matter what! Stick to your decision to be your own winner.
You can do it. Decide,take action,committ.
Listen to yourself! There is a winner in you!
Love you much,thank for reading my blog.


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