Moon in Saggitarius

I will have my freedom by any means necessary. “I cannot get it wrong and I will never get it done”Abraham Hicks.

If you do not agree with my life choices that is just too bad because abusers are not welcome here.

I went into Dr. Tan’s office yesterday around 4:00 pm. Late in the day I suspect the office will be crowded or nearly empty because it is the end of the day.  By the time I arrive my arthritis is throbbing in the right thigh and sciatica is painful down the left leg. The muscles supporting the inner thighs has atrophied and  by squeezing my gluteus to push the thighs around to push my legs forward grinds what feels like bone against bone. I am not complaining merely trying to make myself understood. Exhausted from the  30 minute walk with the grinding of my bones in the heat of a Nevada summer I plopped in a cushioned and comforting chair in the doctor’s office. Remember I am writing this because I know these people are going to attack me with their socialist ideas of righteousness of the  right to define me with their words.  After paying my hard saved money,since as a senior I am on a fixed income, I gladly slipped onto the comfort of the chair which was in direct contrast to the  immediate harassment I heard focused passive aggressively

at my ears, ” have a nice day said the exiting patient,a male, of course.  I felt a lack of energy so I merely guffawed at them.

The nurse assistant who 40 minutes later opened the door to rooms in back was black. Aha, I thought, the game is afoot.

She greeted me in a cordial mild tone of voice and smiled while announcing my name. I said nothing. I walked jaringly down the hall. Once in the room she closed the door and her voice raised to decibels. I answered once but on the second assault I asked, is it me, or is your voice really loud for this compact room?  I mean I have a strong voice and o ly need breath a little harder and when I speak it booms, and when I want to emphasize a request it also booms. She smiled and glibly stated its because that is the tone she speaks at home with her family. How trite I thought. If every person ignored workplace conduct befitting their occupation for the more comfortable but often strikingly misfit familial behaviors where would professionalism be?

I did not wait long for the doctor’s entrance and after a brief salutation he jumped right in. Right into my realm of personal choice. He began To rant about my Medicare as if I had asked him to take the reigns and fix me. This is enmesh net , by the way. He went on.  I would not have to pay a co pay. I could feel resentment needling my brain so I stopped listening. but he didn’t.

He tried to quote to me prices ,but  finally I cut him off saying” I don’t see why we are having this conversation. He smirked. I knew for sure then he was trying to vex me. Get me to lose my temper. The good Christian was trying to make me show anger and treat me as if I hadn’t thought about or could possibly be capable to make decisions about my health care including payments. No I just sit back and let the world of people like him handle my life for me.

Right!

He continued on about how he was not an expert but he thought plan A covered this and plan B covered that and plan D did so and so. I did not take the bait .  I wanted to put him in his place but I knew I wanted it to be on my terms, when I felt better and after I had thought about what I will say. There is nothing in the rules of engagement that says you must fight back right this minute. I know it is best to back up, take a break and get clear what is going on and how I want to address it. That is better communication, not reactive but pro active.

Oh, he must have felt his Cheerios because he asked a stupid question one after another, then insulted again at the end of this brief session with a directive. Sit down, I will be back with your prescription. Stay here, Sit down? This child treatment took the cake. I waited till he left the cubicle and then left the room to advise the other nurses I could be found in the lounge. He was there and without looking at me handed , another insult, me a card for whom, he explained was a case manager of his who could steer me towards services I needed. I politely assured him I had that in hand as I already had contacted agencies in regards to ambulatory equipment. He glanced at me briefly as he tried his best not to look at me. These poor socialist, communist  insist I must be treated as a child because they  just believe he has the right to form my behaviors.  this  is abusive behavior. He looked surprised. And I knew I would return to tell him what I thought of his behavior and ask for another doctor. I have that right. You see abusers want you emotional , out of control, angry, it feeds their need to be in control.

Remain detached, watch myself and others from a distance. I go back this morning and since I pay for service I am going to have it my way or another doctor in this same .I recognize socialist communism. And abusive macho males intent on running someone else’s life.

I am not buying it.

 

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